We’re back, with another astounding post of mayhem and foreign mystery from our UK Cat Correspondent, Matt. (Huzzah!)
British Media Roundup – April 2011
Being ever-vigilant for all things feline and always an avid reader of anything I can get my hands on has led to this: the British Media Roundup – April 2011.
April 1, 2011 – Metro
First up is this photo of an advertisement I saw in a newspaper. Wary of April Foolery, I almost dismissed it as a joke. Then I saw the cats! These wily little ones have clearly mystified/stupefied this svelte male model. They’ve given the poor French fellow a full-on philosophical identity crisis. Can you blame him? The words whispered in purrs “I am le chat” are so much easier and hypnotic than all that cogito ergo sum. Count on these cats to plumb the essential truth of being. And, apparently, soar to the pinnacle of fashion.
April 6, 2011 – Metro
I know what you’re thinking: where were the other firefighters? I have the utmost respect and admiration for these true Heroes, but they seem to have dropped the ball on this occasion. The newspaper containing the article is distributed free of charge in the city’s public transportation vehicles and as I bounced gently into Manchester on the bus, my eye was initially drawn to the tour dates for Dolly Parton, but I soon noticed the real headline. It really upset me. What were the rest of the firefighters in the 100-mile crisis radius doing? Were they held up in traffic? Were the bureaucrats on the borough council hamstringing them with budget cuts? I had to know; I had to give them a piece of my mind. When I got home, I proceeded to write the Leiston borough council a Strongly Worded Letter addressing their lack of preparedness for just such a situation. Their reply was prompt and polite and from their solicitor reminding me that a) they are not accountable to me, b) the firefighters acted within the existing set of rules, c) the cat in question was, in fact, saved, d) the wording of my letter, while very clear about establishing a Feline Rescue Protocol, was inappropriate and distasteful, e) they expect a full apology in writing by the end of the month. As soon as I am done with this post, I will be writing the apology they so kindly requested and that I’m told is necessary if I’d like to avoid doing community service. But I have no problem with community service. Here is a community service suggestion for the firemen of Leiston and the pleasant citizens on the borough council: pose with cats in those risqué calendars the firemen sell. Take a page from the French male model (see above). It’s sure to be a boon to your coffers. I would buy it. Anyone who has visited the calendar section of a store knows that kitten/cat lovers are a discerning and important calendar-buying demographic. Furthermore, “according to Bristol’s Department of Clinical Veterinary Science… it is estimated that 26% of UK households owned cats.” That’s over a quarter of the population. Think of all the harlequinesque calendars they could sell if only they posed with the cats they rescue instead of those tastefully placed helmets and fire hoses—dozens more, I’m sure. Leiston firefighters—think about it!
That’s all from the UK for now.
Matt, as always, truly scintillating! Thank you from the Team Cat Blog and Team Beard, and while we’re at it, Team Huntingdon. Home just isn’t home without you.